it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
