I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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