His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
