if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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