every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
