So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
