idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
