I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
