Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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