Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
