I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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