I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
