after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
