I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
