I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
