I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just pee around me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
