But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
