You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
