i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
