Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
