is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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