I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
