i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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