That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
