You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A+ Viking dick
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
