did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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