Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
