I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
