Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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