I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
