the day after is always just damage control
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
