Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
