just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
