so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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