I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
