Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
