There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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