I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
