I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
