What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
