God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
