i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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