I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
