'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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