It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
