I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
