what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
