and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
