terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
