69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
