I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your penis caused this!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize