Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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