had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
