Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
