Betty ford says i'm here all night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
