well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
