He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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