no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
