You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
