I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I AM VODKA MAN
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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