Whod you bang
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
