at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
